there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
