yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize