Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
