is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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