wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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