I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm passing your future prison.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
