I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
