Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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