i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
