I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
