She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
