I wanna passion pit in your ass
are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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