just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
no, he came in my armpit
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize