it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
