how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
