Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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