it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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