I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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