Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
