this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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