Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
