Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
