He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
