Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize