I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
