would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
