big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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