That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
