He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
