I wish I could teleport
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
too bad you live with your parents still
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
