I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you would pick up someone in the library
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
