well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
