Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
