Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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