I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
