From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she told me i tasted like america
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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