I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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