Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize