dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
