i may or may not be watching the land before time
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
