I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
