I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
