Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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