I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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