we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
