Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize