Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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