Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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