shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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