It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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