I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
