Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
