I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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