That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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