that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
